Her response was something along the lines of, "It's Jesus. Of course He was doing something for both of us." Her certainty and lack of surprise seemed the opposite of my wide-eyed, wide-hearted realization of God's perfect planning.
On a silent retreat, I found myself working through a painful memory I had with my sister. I had tried a couple times during prayer to get to the root of it, but I seemed to get off course. Finally, I was in the memory and I pictured Jesus there, too. The pain of the moment eased and I saw things from a better perspective, one closer to what Jesus must have experienced.
Instead of recalling only my emotions, I began to see the situation as she may have experienced it. "You are the Beloved of the Father," I found myself telling her.
Then she said those same words back to me and a deep healing occurred in that moment. Something wounded in me was restored by God, not through a conversation with my sister.
After the retreat, I decided to write her and tell her about that experience. I didn't go into detail and I didn't explain how I had felt hurt. I simply told her what transpired in prayer. The next time I saw her, she brought up the letter. She said my letter was the Lord's response to her about something she was struggling with. As she told me that the letter was good for her own heart, I was amazed. Our Lord took that inclination I had to write my sister and He used it to speak to her heart in a way I didn't know she needed.
My response was, "Woah." Hers was one of confident certainty that the Lord works in exactly that sort of way.
Sometimes the Lord takes the movements of our hearts and our own healing so He can use them to speak to others in a profound way that we never intended.
Sometimes my own healing allows others to experience the grace of God.
As fallen humans, we are always seeking to repair our fragile, little hearts. But what a different perspective I have when I think of my healing being an avenue that God uses to love others. Beyond the fact that God desires my own personal wholeness, He has a mission for me, one that requires me to seek healing for the sake of others, not just for myself.
In a way, the Church needs you to be healed. Our personal healing is a service to the Church.
Souls need you to pursue holiness and wholeness because, though perhaps unbeknownst to you, God will use that renewal to encounter them.
The Mystical Body of Christ is a mysterious being. God heals us for our own good and then seeks to use that healing to bring about restoration in others. One that may rely in part on your "Yes" to Jesus entering into those wounded parts of your own heart, areas you don't want Him to go, but which will truly revive your soul if you let Him.
Your own healing might be that catalyst for others to be healed or encounter God in a necessary way.
And so He gently asks, "What do you want me to do for you?" (Mark 10:51)
Your response? Unlock that little room within your heart that you've walled away and invite Jesus into that place. His healing, transformative presence will change you and that will change others.
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